My Grandfather....

Today is that day when I think about that one person as if he was with me till yesterday and gone today, though he became a shadow by my side or a memory, 10 years back, today.  Then my thoughts move to an equally important person in my life...

 It might be a difficult situation for most to understand and a very few would be able to identify with me. Those very few would have lived with their grandparents; they would have spent their important growing years under their protective wings.

 I was one such lucky little girl. Even after my parents moved to our new home, I continued staying with my loving, doting grandparents. My parents always feared that end of the day; all the love and care might make me a spoiled brat. But little did they know that my grandparents took extreme care in preparing me for the harsh world I would come across in just a little while.

 I lost my grand mother 14 years back. She was the best mother, wife, grand mother, aunt, and sister I ever came across and my grand father was the perfect gentleman. And they took such care in making sure that they do everything for the perfect upbringing of all their 4 sons including my father, who is their eldest son. So yes, I was their much awaited first grand daughter. 

 I still remember the look on their faces when am sick, when I am 2 minutes late to get back from school, when I fall and get hurt, when my parents scold me (for my mistakes, mind you). They would scold very rarely, but would always speak to me about being right and wrong. They did everything they could to make sure I had a comfortable home to play, study, live.

 Grand parents are the perfect gifts any parents could give their children and your children are the best gifts you can ever give your parents. I make sure my son gets to spend a lot of time with his paternal and maternal grand parents and they adore each other. 

 My grand mother fell in her bathroom on April 2^nd right before I went to college for my Pre degree final year exams and I knew that its time for me to say good bye to her. The 2 days that I had exams after she fell, whenever a peon would cross the room, I would get prepared to hear the bad news about my grand mother’s death. And finally on 4^th April, she passed away right after her operation. No, we dint get to say our good byes as she was in a coma the 2 days before her death. 

 Even when my grand father passed away I knew the time is getting nearer for our final good byes too. I was away at Hyderabad for work at the time and from my parents I knew he was not doing too well. He had Parkinson’s disease. One fine day it just dawned on me that its better I get back to my home town at the earliest to see him. Spoke to my manager, who granted me leave without a word, got train tickets without a hassle and I boarded the very next day’s train. But little did I know that he wouldn’t wait for me. He passed away that night while I was sleeping peacefully in that train. Once I woke up in the morning, I was feeling quite empty, and I dint know why. Somewhere in my mind, I knew its got to do with my grandfather, but I did not want to believe it and started looking for other options that could possibly happen. 

That afternoon I reached Shornoor and boarded another train to my hometown and once I reached the station and saw my childhood friend and her father waiting for me at the station, I was sure… I was sure that all those thoughts that were haunting me the whole morning has finally hit me hard right on my face. 

But couldn’t she have come to pick me up; we haven’t met in quite a while. Yes, she could…but I knew and I couldn’t believe the fact that I wouldn’t be able to talk to my grandfather again. I couldn’t believe he won’t give me my due of the usual100 rupee note when I go back to Hyderabad again. My grandfather always gave me a 100 rupee note each and every time I came home for a short break from my college hostel or later from my workplace, it became more of a custom. While in college, I used to come home whenever I got a chance and each time he gave me money he would lovingly crib that if I come so often, he would not give me money all the time, but never ever skipped even once. I had one 100 rupee note he had given me, for a very long time until my husband unknowingly used it without knowing the value of that particular note and I never told him either.  

 My friend who came to pick me up told me that there is nothing wrong and that she came only because she was in the area with her father. We took an auto to our place and when we were about to reach our home, she told me the news and I just sat in the auto without uttering a word... My ‘know all’ mind was probably telling me, ‘I told you so’, ‘Good that I prepared you well to face the situation’ and I just did not know how to respond to the whole situation. I couldn’t cry, I just went inside and sat next to where he was laid down the whole night on banana leaves with a lit lamp beside him.

 All through the journey, I was thanking my stars for making my manager grant my leave without a word, for getting the train tickets at such short notice, for being able to catch the earlier connection train from Shornoor to my home town. But for what, all of this would have made sense, if I would have been able to sit next to him for at least 5 minutes. Hmmm…or I should be thankful that I was able to stay at my home for the next 16 days and do all the rituals for him…But I cannot help but think, if that feeling to get back home had been as strong just a day earlier, everything would have helped…There are always so many ‘ifs’ in our lives for which we really do not always have an answer…